I was feeding the girl pigs the other day: eight adults, four yearlings, and three six-month-olds. While KuneKunes are considered a small pig breed, “small” is a relative term. At an average adult weight of 200 to 250 pounds, with muscles of steel hidden beneath all that lard, they can unintentionally lay a world of hurt on a person. The funny thing is they seem to have absolutely no concept of their own size.
So there I was in the girls’ pen, surrounded by more than a dozen hungry pigs eagerly jockeying for position to collect whatever yumminess happened to be in the bucket I was carrying. Out of nowhere, RG came charging in from about my two o’clock position.
Now, KuneKunes are not only stronger than they realize, they also don’t always have the best eyesight or aim. RG’s goal was to get behind me. Unfortunately, her route and my shin occupied the same piece of real estate. She clipped my leg as she passed, and I immediately felt myself starting to go over backward.
My first thought?
“Crap. And I took a bath this morning.”
I threw my left leg back, hoping to catch my balance. Instead, I immediately collided with the not-so-patiently waiting RG, who was now standing directly behind me. That little encounter removed any remaining possibility of staying upright.
Down I went. Or at least, I started to.
My rear made contact with what can only be described as puerco firma. I found myself squarely on RG’s back.
Thanks to the fact that she stands a good four inches higher than my knees, RG effectively became a very surprised emergency support platform. Before either of us had time to process what was happening, I used her broad back as a launching pad and popped right back onto my feet.
One moment I was falling.
The next moment I was standing there, still holding a full bucket of feed, wondering what in the world had just happened. RG continued on her way, apparently unaware she had just prevented a pig-related wipeout.
And the best part? Nobody saw it. My husband was on the opposite side of the pasture, but was facing away from the whole spectacle. Which is unfortunate, because he had his cell phone with him and I suspect it would have made a great video, not to mention proof that it actually happened!